There are so many times that I don’t feel worthy of anything. Love, Money, Companionship. None of it.
Life makes me feel worthless.
Feelings To Acknowledge
I’m not really sure much I can do about these feelings. They exist and I acknowledge them. That’s about all I’m able to do most times is just acknowledge them. I don’t think it was always this way. Well, maybe it has.
When I write these things I’m not looking for anything but an understanding of why I’m like this. Or why I feel like this most of the time. I keep working on it. Don’t want time to run out.
I Have Regrets
And, to top that off, my regrets run deep.
There was a period in my life where I was so ashamed of me, that I told my mom I didn’t want her to care for me. That I didn’t want anyone to care for me. My regret here was I wasn’t able to tell her that I never really meant what I said before she had died.
It’s truly something I’ve had to live with ever since and it still hurts because I got to the hospital 15 minutes after she passed.
So when feeling worthless and feelings of regret surface it’s a double whammy effect.
I Have My Daily Prayer
God, thank you for another day of sobriety and another day of life. God Bless my son, family and friends and Lord thanks for guiding my journey today and keeping me safe from my own destruction.
Thoughts & Ideas, Joseph Kravis 🙂
Categories: Thoughts and Ideas