Lies Deceit and Masks
Those of us who hide behind layers of deceit to mask our feelings are just trying to blend in. I had learned a horrible lesson: if you want to blend in, you must wear the disguise of another. No matter how legitimate I looked on the outside, my insides, dark and twisted as they were, were screaming for recognition and attention. My mask had been cast, and I could no longer keep it on.
I was exposed. I was letting people into my life, just to have them all leave in shame and confusion. My face, always buried in the shadows, was staring into a wall of uncertainty.
It was okay to show a part of me that I was ashamed of. It was necessary. But I had to wear my dark, twisted feelings on the outside, and only let the positive shine through the cracks.
My Darkest Moments
It is in my darkest moments that I met the most courageous of people. It is there that I learned how to blend in with the world around me. It is in these moments that I was given the most purpose, and the most courage. I was stretched, and I grew, and I tried to find the truth that existed in my life before I had discovered the lies.
Instead of trying to hide and pretend that I was happy when I was not, I had to face my dark feelings and let the world know. I had to be honest about my feelings. I had to give a piece of me away. I had to be naked and exposed. I had to tell the people that I was around that I was not ok. But I had to do it in a way that showed vulnerability, and not a feeling of weakness.
I had to let people into my life in order for them to find out that I was a real person, and that I had feelings. It is in letting people into my life that I learned how to be vulnerable.
I had to become unashamed. It was not easy to let go of the lies that I had built, but I found the strength to let go of them. I had to be the one to reveal that I was struggling. I had to be the one to share my deepest hurts, and the ones that had given me the hardest time. I had to be the one to speak up when I was hurt.
It was in facing my fears that I was given the greatest strength.
These experiences have taught me so many lessons in life, but the most valuable lesson that I learned is that it is okay to be real. No matter how real my emotions are, they don’t have to stop me from being a good person. They do not have to affect the type of person I am, and I am not defined by them.
It’s okay to have dark feelings, because there is hope for healing. But I can’t look to anyone else for that healing. I must look within myself, and I must get past the fear of being naked, and I must embrace vulnerability.
These lessons are so hard to remember in life, and I sometimes give in to self-doubt, but I will never forget them. They have given me courage in times that I have felt myself wanting to hide away in shame and anxiety.
I think that I am finally at a point where I can feel my true self without needing to hide away, and I am no longer ashamed of my dark, twisted feelings. It is now okay to let people in, and it is okay to let go of the mask that you have been hiding behind.
I know that there are many who feel shame when they want to let people in, so let me let you in. Let us hold each other up when we need it. Let us share the innermost secrets that we have been keeping. Let us show that we aren’t afraid to reveal the parts of us that we thought we had to hide away.
Go Mask-less Be Yourself Be Authentic
This life is the only one we have. Don’t let the mask become the worst part of who you are. Be yourself. Be authentic. You are not defined by the darkness inside of you, and you are not broken because of the darkness in your heart. You have a good heart and you have the power to be whole.
I am no longer ashamed of who I am. I am not ashamed of the fact that I am real. I am no longer ashamed of the dark feelings in my heart. I am no longer ashamed of the way I think, and the way I feel.
I am accepting of who I am, and I am showing the world my real self. I am sharing the authentic part of myself with the world. I am not hiding away anymore. I am not ashamed of who I am.
I am learning to see myself for who I am, and I am learning to see the world for who it is.
I am finally becoming who I am meant to . . .
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Thoughts & Ideas, Joseph Kravis 🙂
Categories: Thoughts and Ideas