Love is scaring and scaring is love. Something will always touch us in ways that we don’t realize. I spent a good amount of my early life questioning love. Did I love everyone? I was told that I did. But for every person I said I loved, I was warned that I would be left broken when they left me.
I was told I was a baby, that I didn’t understand my love. But I did understand. I had been slapped in the face with love more than a few times by several different men. I knew what it was. But there are so many ways to express love. Love is not an emotion, it is a state of being. It is not an emotion either.
Love has become such a symbol for people, but it is not the emotion it once was. Love is joy and heartbreak and pain and shivers down your spine at what just happened. Love is silent, it is constant. And if you choose to let it be, it will be your best friend.
Love and anxiety. They are inextricably intertwined.
The first time I saw a panic attack, I was a young teenager on a date. My first ever, and not the last. When he took me home, I remember watching the mirror in his car and seeing my chest in my hands as my lungs fought for oxygen. The panic attacks wouldn’t come for a while, but I was terrified. Fearful that I would pass out in the middle of the road or something. Like anything else, the panic attacks hit me when I least expect them. And it’s exhausting. Anxiety is debilitating.
Our relationship with anxiety has also been inextricably intertwined with our relationship with love.
I Still Struggle With Panic
I still struggle with panic. But it is getting better. I have a wonderful group of friends and family that listen when I tell them about my latest panic attack or whatever is happening in my world at the moment. It’s a daily battle to stay positive and listen to your body. The bad news is, when you have anxiety, you can’t. So it’s a daily challenge, but it’s mine and I am proud of that.
Everyone’s love story is different. There is no right or wrong. There is no right or wrong. There is only love and it is whatever you make it. But there is something beautiful about the fact that we can all relate. I’ve been in love before and I’ve lost love, but I’ll never stop loving, because every love story has it’s lessons, and if we weren’t scared of that?
The world would be a brighter place.
I’ve not been very creative lately. I started this a long time ago and thought I’d post.
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Thoughts & Ideas, Joseph Kravis 🙂
Thoughts & Ideas,